The Postmodern sleaze

Kissing the tortoise shell

2007-04-12T04:53:26Z

We Have Ways
to Make You Talk.

- - - -

"How much do you think it would hurt if I were to take volume S of the Encyclopaedia Britannica and slam it shut on your nose?"

"This is my friend Ernst. He's German. He doesn't talk, but if he did, he'd speak with a thick German accent. Look at him. Look how German he is. 'Nuff said."

"No one enjoys wet socks. You should know we have plenty of water. And socks."

"See the items on this tray? You'll recognize them from your dentist's office. They tell me this one is the worst. They call it ... dental floss."

"Mr. Shin, meet Mr. Steel-Toed Boot."

"While it's true that sticks and stones will break your bones, everyone knows it's a fallacy that names will never hurt you. We've talked to some people from your past and know which names will cause the most pain, and we're prepared to use them."

"We like to pinch."

"Are you aware that Dolly Parton has recorded over 75 albums in her career? Don't make us prove it."

"Bed-wetter!"

"If you don't talk, I won't give you this dollar."

Taken from the always entertaining Mcsweenys

Tops

2007-04-07T21:08:23Z

I feel guilty for having neglected Livejournal for a while. I am repenting by spending my extremely valuable Saturday afternoon recording a brief on line diary of my past week or so.

Mostly I've been at my uncle Phils house. We're talking serious sun and nature. I even learned (and briefly participated in) how to build a raft

After words we decided to ride around for hours on end, trying to see the bottom (we think the lake goes a good 25 feet down). No luck though, algae too thick to see past the surface. Was very connected and zen for a good 5 days
I also began reading a new book

A fictionalized and embellished account of a true story fantastically written by Eggers. He's just the shit.

In relation to the topic i looked up some african mood music and discovered this in-fucking-credible Ethiopian composer

I've also been on a kick for these

Now i'm just looking forward to the Blood Brothers, T.V. OTR, and Noisettes show on tuesday and a visit to Full Sail on Sunday.

Oh, and most importantly
New Season! How i love you Henry.

Now I'm going to watch a movie.

I've been meaning to buy the book as well.

Old Habits Die Hard

2007-03-13T19:31:46Z

Happy Birthday Katelyn!
Almost Legal. Much lurve.

the death of the party

2007-03-11T19:16:03Z

It is Inhuman to impede another's progress.

Dear Nick Drake,

2007-02-20T00:37:46Z

You were right. I don't stand so tall.
It's up to you now. Life has turned on me, finally, and i've no one else to run to. Will you harbor me?
Tell me of things behind the sun.
Tell me what time has told you.

.....yep.....i can hear you now......

When I was young, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older, see it face to face
And now I'm older, gotta get up clean the place.

why we are hungry

2007-01-08T05:03:32Z

Finished the first three seasons of Gilmore Girls i got on dvd for christmas. Damn addicting show.
Learned some new chords on guitar.
Have been Completely and totally vegetarian for 3 weeks. Will be indefinitely.
Have made the decision to challenge myself to reading 50 books this year. Halfway done through first.
Feeling good about school starting back up. Winter* has done me well.

* NO winter in miami.

A few of my favorite things...

2006-12-30T05:31:00Z

My Christmas break has been amazing so far. I got a Fender guitar which was a complete shock, and as it turns out a fabulous idea. Her name is Candy. I also got some gorgeous belts, an amazing hat, and a plethora of gift cards which have resulted in books everywhere from Oscar Wilde to Salvador Dali. I'm seriously overwhelmed in stuff to occupy my time. I've gone to see the sunset on horseback in the heart of nature, and eaten at this great bagel shop called Bogarts (humphrey, of course) and the kendall diner twice (god damn those amazing banana splits). Seen all of my closest friends and family under great terms, and had good times.
I still have over a week to my name. I can watch all three seasons of gilmore girls i got on Dvd(Shutup) , Get my hair cut (fuck my longish hair), and sleep.

Enough about me. How are you?

stress relief

2006-12-10T20:31:55Z

Taken From McSweeneys

REJECTED
SUBMISSIONS FOR
SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE'S
"DAILY TRAUMARAMA."
BY DEDE PRENO
- - - -

I couldn't believe it! There I was getting ready for lunch when I noticed that my crush was standing right in front of me. He was so gorgeous; I nearly fainted. We kibitzed about the game on Friday as he handed me a large piece of pumpkin pie that I devoured instantly. OOPS!! As soon as we got to the checkout lady I had eaten all my food and his! YIKES! Then I dove across him and started chewing on his left hand! OUCH! He pushed me to the floor, but it was too late. I had swallowed his adorable pinkie finger. Thanks for nothing, Prader-Willi syndrome! I was SOOOOO embarrassed.

—Jessica, 15, North Dallas

The hottie I had been crushing on walked into the Halloween dance looking SOOOOO amazing. His Superman costume fit him so well he could have been the real Superman. I finally decided to listen to the demonic voices in my head and go up and talk to him. SWEAT SWEAT, STINKY SWEAT! I was SOOOO nervous when I got up to him all I could do was scream, "Die, impure one, die!!!" When the security staff finally ripped the Swiss Army knife from my hand, my hottie-boy crush lay lifeless on the linoleum. GRODY!! I looked around and saw that all the upperclassmen were snickering. It was the worst ever! And I totally got entrails on my Marilyn Manson costume. Bummer.

—Phoebe, 17, Salt Lake City

This Side of Paradise

2006-12-08T04:14:09Z

"it's all a poor substitute at best," he said sadly.
And he could not tell why the struggle was worth while, why he had determined to use to the utmost himself and his heritage from the personalities he had passed.......
He stretched out his arms to the crystalline, radiant sky.
"I know myself," he cried, "but that is all."

-Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

This is not a bitch fit. It's clarity.

2006-11-29T00:21:15Z

~~I had an eventful and long thanksgiving weekend. Went to Davie to eat a huge family dinner. Ended up staying until sunday. It was really nice.~~

I'd go into details, but i don't really see the point. I don't feel close to anyone anymore. I hope everyones break (whether thanksgiving is your thing or not) was good.

Vacancy

2006-11-20T20:45:11Z

Today has been so unstable. Too many highs and lows. There's a lot on my mind right now. But i can't get into it because i'm reading too good of a book (the perks of being a wallflower FINALLY (annie, you don't lie this book is great) and i have to get ready for the death cab concert in a few hours. Getting this little sleep can't be healthy.

Your playing small serves no one

2006-11-04T06:21:41Z

So i just finished watching the movie Amores perros by Alejandro González Iñárritu. Wow. One of the most intense films i've ever seen. It also re-affirms my crush on Gael García Bernal. I'm not huge on the domestication of animals ( i love them, don't get me wrong, but some animals are just NOT meant to be pets) but this movie made me hold my puppies in a bear hug and laugh at how literal the title ended up being taken (Note: amores perros translates directly to loves dogs, although i think they were going for the whole love is a bitch spin). If your ever looking for an interesting indie take on drama, this movie works just fine. too fine, perhaps.

besides that, school's good, Life's great.
I'm too scared to call the hospital and find out how kelsey's doing. I'd like to put it off until sunday. One more day of blissful ignorance.

I need a new great novel to immerse myself in. I'm thinking maybe some Dave Eggers. I'm thinking maybe i should get some sleep.

Said the shotgun to the head

2006-10-15T06:37:03Z

The Bodies exhibition is definitely worth checking out if you ever get the chance to see it. It's reasonably priced and you really can't help but be amazed. On another note, all you fellow floridians:

Orlando November 14. I'm definitely going to be there.

You must have been phlegmatic in stature

2006-09-26T23:11:17Z

Free Staind concert tomorrow. I haven't really listened to staind in a looong time, so i'm doing some major catching up. Should be pretty cool. Then probably deathcab for cutie (i might have a free ticket for this as well) and/or Bang festival and/or 30 seconds to mars? (katelyn i will go if you want me to. I can survive a sweaty jared leto).

Rosello (history teacher) is becoming more and more flirtateous with his classes and it's extremely hard to keep up the "you're just my teacher" thing when he's so fucking gorgeous. He wants to take us to see a dead body exhibit at the museum? *shrug*.

I keep having these odd bursts of words and almost alternate persona's that are really poetic and fantastical and completely irrelevant to me. I don't do the writer thing, so it's just going to waste. Inspiration perhaps? I'm being trained not to believe in inspiration.

OH and tomorrow is GINAS BIRTHDAY. We really must get together sometime this weekend if your free. If not, for sure during the week. I've got a present very long overdue for you.

no one noticed that the devil stole the moon

2006-09-20T20:02:37Z

fucking a this is being difficult. If i have time i'll try and fix it. :(
finally some time to breathe. Been busy with school work and trying to sleep. This past weekend i went to epcot.

France
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Japan
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Italy
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Germany
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China
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Mexico
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The coolest place on earth. i wish i could have spent more time in some of the places (japan and Italy) but i went with my mother and her boyfriend which was a whole different kind of hell and didn't find much interesting in either. I don't know how but somehow i fell into the romance of france. I got some killer video of all sorts of strange and cool performers and contortionists. Maybe that will show up.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v320/jollirottenkita/PIC_0001.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

I'm not a pretty girl. That is not what i do.

2006-09-14T02:24:05Z

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now.

1. Mirah- Engine Heart
2. Ani Difranco- Fuel
3. The Von Bondies- Made In Japan
4. Beirut- After the curtain
5. Beck- Satan gave me a taco
6. M.I.A. - 10 $
7. PJ Harvey- It's you

I went to the library today. I'm so overwhelmed in literature and it's fucking fantastic. I got some Neruda, Garcia Marquez, Gogol, and McCullers.

I wish there were some truth to this

2006-09-01T21:02:45Z

Damn this shit is cool. I look like hell in the picture.

Shela-na-gig you act so vicious

2006-08-28T20:04:50Z

I have to:
A) Eat every perishable good in site.
B) Check myspace for any last minute confessions in case of death or decapitation of the hands
C) showershowershower.
D) Stand under the fan for as long as possible
E) Watch mind numbing television as long as it lasts
D) cross my fingers the duck taped bathroom window holds up.

When Ernesto "che" the hurricane hits i'll be ready. I wonder if after it passes people will call it a revolution. haha. Get it?.........yeah i know. Bad joke.......

JT Leroy is one demented fuck

2006-08-17T21:02:37Z

I have my internet access back! I know intellectually this will make me suffer but damnit i'd be lying if i said i hadn't missed spending hours on the mind numbing internet. It's like virtual cocaine without the mood swings or sore nostrils.

And i'm sure you're tired of reading how half of your friends list school experiences are, But it deserves to be mentioned that for the first time in many years i am excited as hell to be in school. Even the most unbearable classes are well...bearable. I'm just going to take things one task at a time and not concentrate on the future so much, That's how i always screw myself over. Things feel good right now.....

I have some extra money for once and i'm itching for a good concert. It's just that time of year. Now to find the perfect show.....

Watch my world dissolve

2006-08-04T03:59:53Z

We really need a revolution. All these political changes are coming around the world, So soon i can taste it, And my generation Doesn't seem to give a fuck. Maybe this is just the Politically charged Music talking. Maybe i should go pick up the tabloid with the Ex-N'sync members face on it (*gasp* a member of a boy band? Out of the closet? Oh the shock!).

On a whole other tone, I watched the movie 'The Dreamers' last night and *Deep Breath* WOW. i've never approved of incest before but.....Damn this is a hot brother/sister kink show. Before you judge me and tell me how disgusting i am, Watch it for yourself and tell me you don't agree.

Ok. I'll go back to watching Henry Rollins talk about giving Ann Coulter a good ass spanking now. Don't judge...............

Georgie Peorgie

2006-07-28T04:37:39Z

~~i promise~~ i solemnly swear that i will be a more pleasant person to other persons. ~~And i promise i'll always appreciate you.~~ We shouldn't push our luck now, eh?

lovelovelovehermitingmyselfinfanfictionlove

2006-07-02T01:01:12Z

Me, potterverse, bassita, cake and ice cream is all i'll ever need. I'm ready to be locked away now, just never take these things from me.

wanting to live and laugh all the time

2006-06-25T04:08:43Z

The one thing i hate about reaching absolute euphoria is that feeling not too long afterwords of crashing down into this void of nothing.

For the widows in paradise

2006-06-15T05:03:42Z

I've been fishing for anything to update my journal with for quite a few days now, But i just can't put my thoughts in a flowing, digestible fashion so you'll just have to take it as it comes.

There's a cure for cervical cancer which is amazing news. Of course it only protects from certain strands and there are still going to be deaths, especially at a whopping 360$ for the vaccine and no word yet as to whether or not it will be covered by insurance company's. 233,000 women die of cervical cancer each year. Hopefully next year that number will be cut in half.

I want to be a Renoir woman, And i want it to be acceptable to the world.

I want to be more politically aware.

I look at pictures and videos on realty of lavish and exotic homes for fun. No lie.

I think vh1's the drug years is the best thing since I love the 80's (original, part deuce just wasn't as good, And 90's was pretty great but it wasn't the same thrill).

I think someone should drag me out of my house and this depressive, lethargic state i've been stuck in.

one week before it's overrrrrrrr

2006-05-19T20:54:09Z